I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee
And I can justify
Any shopping spree.

Don't go to a barber,
But a beauty salon
Can get a massage
Without a hard-on

I can balance the checkbook,
Can pump my own gas
Can talk to my friends
About the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece,
And yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others
When I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles
At any cost,
And I don't have a problem
Admitting I'm lost.

I never forget
An important date
You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late

I don't watch movies
With lots of gore
Don't need instant replay
To remember the score.

I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch,
And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.

Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!

Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Would you look at my face,
Not at my chest!

I don't have a problem
With expressing my feelings
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.

Don't call me a girl,
A babe or a chick.
I am a WOMAN,
Get it, you prick?!